WWEHGD? (What Would Elaine Heumann Gurian Do?)

i had an interview friday afternoon for a museum job i really wanted and i blew it.

i guess it's all for the best though, because i have a pretty good job right now and i like it. it's challenging in all the ways it should be, and i feel pretty engaged with the kids. i feel like i'm doing something meaningful and valuable; however, the job is temporary and without benefits. although i've been asked if i would be interested to return next fall when the program is expected to grow and branch out, come may, i'll be unemployed.

oh yeah, for those out of the loop, i'm no longer with HMNS. i now work as a reading tutor at an elementary school for the UT Health Science Center-Houston. all those years of being an aggie, and i now find myself working for damn longhorns. oh, well...it's not like i was hardcore and bled maroon anyway.

there are eight kids i tutor for a reading intervention program that uses the phono-grafix method. i have 4 first graders, 2 second graders, and 2 third graders, each reading below their grade level. this past week, i learned that kindergartners should be able to read 30 words a minute, and that during each grade thereafter, a student should add 30 more words a minute, meaning, theoretically, that by the time a student is ready for 6th grade, they should be able to read 180 words a minute. apparently, researchers have concluded that kids who don't have grade-level reading skills by the time they're in 3rd grade are highly likely to drop out of high school. i believe them. it helps explain my brother's repeating second grade and his subsequent dropping out of high school in his junior year.

the kids i tutor are cute, and each day i look forward to how the tutoring sessions will go and what crazy things will come out of their mouths. for example, one kid told me his aunt was sad because she miscarried a baby last week, and when i offered my condolences, he went on to explain miscarriage to me. let's just say he either has a vivid imagination or his aunt is a creature from outer space where things happen differently. another little boy i tutor is really cute. i like him because he's super-motivated and is proving to be my success story...he is sounding out words and trying to read by himself. he told me his favorite word is "bunny," which i think is the cutest thing. i sent him home recently with a 6-line story about a fat cat that sat on a variety of items and people, and told him to read the story for practice. the next day i asked if he read the story, and he said yes, that he'd read it like a newspaper while sitting on his toilet at home.

this past thursday, we did some reading fluency assessment tests as a baseline for measuring their progress until the end of the school year. my best student was a third grader who is able to read 112 words a minute. she is definitely on her way to better reading skills, i guess, but, to be honest, she's been pretty good at the activities thus far, so i don't quite understand why she's in the program in the first place. she's very smart and reads aloud well. the third grade boy she's partnered with, however, reads 39 words a minute. now the project coordinators are worried about him.

my lowest scorer is one first grade kid i look forward to seeing, just because he's a hoot. i like all of the kids for their own reasons, and this kid i like because he dresses and seems like an immature adult gangster in a child's body, that is in dire need of some growth hormone. some of the kindergartners are taller than this kid! he's this little ghetto thug o.g., with a ring on his index finger and a double-wrapped gold chain with a HUGE medallion with his name on it around his neck. he has a bit of an attitude and i get him, but the poor kid reads six words a minute. he actually "read" 11 words, but spelled most of them instead of reading them, so i had to count those as errors. now, after the assessments, the project coordinators will have to shuffle around and repair the kids, because, obviously it would be unfair to pair a kid who reads 112 words per minute with a kid who reads 39 words a minute. neither would be able to progress in a way most suited to them. my only fear now is that there will be some insecurity and self-esteem issues when a first grader loses his buddy or a third grader now finds himself paired with a first grader. how do you explain to a kid that his partner aces reading now, and that he sucks at it, which is why they can't be partners anymore? i'm already trying to think of reasons to tell the mini gangster why his partner is gone.

anyway, i always knew that the work involved with my new job would be imbued with meaning, but i honestly didn't realize how much these kids would need this program until i saw the results of the fluency tests.

it's not like this is "dangerous minds" or "freedom writers" here, but thinking about how something as simple as reading can make or break a kid's future makes me cheer up about screwing up on my interview today. if i did do well, and ended up scoring a second interview, and then the job, i would have had to make the decision about leaving the kids and a job i have grown to love. i'm sure that these kids will one day forget me, and it will be like i never existed in their lives, but, for me, right now, this is what i want to be doing (looking forward to going to work), and where (not physically "where," but, you know what i mean. hopefully) i want to be. unfortunately, it's just not in a museum. i don't know if i will ever feel this way about museum work, which is a scary thought, but i feel like i had to try my best at the interview and try to get a museum job. i mean, my entire higher educational life has been devoted to a museum career! i know i can't be a reading tutor my entire life, and that my goal is to have employment benefits in the near future, which is why i had to give the interview a shot.

i guess i'm just overthinking things and making desperate attempts to justify and explain my horrible interview skills this afternoon.

oh, by the way elaine heumann gurian is a museum professional i admire, and one of the people on the editorial staff of the leading american museum journal curator.