my thesis, pending rewrites mandated by my committee, is done.
all 170 pages of it...
i'm amazed how smart i sound sometimes when i proofread some of what i've written. almost like, "where the hell did that come from?" like this passage:
Museums come in a variety of sizes, and cover a range of topics, but by extending missions to incorporate strategies that meet the five Cs (competence, confidence, character, connection, and contribution), the character of young people can be stimulated socially, emotionally, cognitively, and behaviorally (Delgado 2002:173-176). By creating special programs that reach out to young people and engage them in developing their own five Cs, the myth that museums are boring and stuffy can be dispelled. A partnership between adult staff members at a museum and teenagers can help to change stereotypes about both groups. Museums can cease to be seen as sterile and irrelevant, and teenagers can take on a positive role within their community.
and this one:
The social nature of young people, and the emphasis placed upon their future endeavors may be explanations for the significant associations found for the three main reasons why young people volunteer in the program. Understanding these reasons for Ecoteen participation could aid in future activity development to help enhance the quality of the Ecoteen experience, and allow young people to develop their skills and talents in ways that are most appealing to college admissions officers. Over half of the young people surveyed indicated that they volunteered elsewhere, which could contribute to their overall opinions and feelings of the Moran Ecoteen Program. In this study, it was believed that those Ecoteens who most enjoy the program, and find it fulfilling and worthwhile, volunteer elsewhere. Being able to compare the program to another volunteer experience could help Ecoteens evaluate their experience volunteering for the Houston Museum of Natural Science; however, the museum can offer a museum-specific experience that can aid in the development of young people: interaction with adult visitors, museum professionals, and children. These three groups of people represent an area of Ecoteen participation that is slightly overlooked by program administrators and Ecoteen parents. These activities are important, as they are usually associated with adult employment, and stand in stark contrast to typical youth activities found at school, or elsewhere.
and this:
Creating a youth development program within an organization is a process that requires museum personnel to view their careers through a different lens. The Youth Science Center case study presents the challenges involved in implementing a youth program, from easing adult anxiety, planning program activities, and acquiring a physical space. The YSC also illustrates how many of the basic principles of service-learning and informal education can be adapted to museum work to guide and strengthen youth development programs (Roholt, Baizerman, and Steiner 2000:52). The theoretical frameworks described in chapter four put forth the ideas that inclusivity, a nonhierarchical structure, meaningful pragmatic activities, and a working partnership with adults are important characteristics of effective youth development programs. Both frameworks stress the latter component, and suggest that if the community in which these programs exist fosters and nurtures young people in these types of programs, their efforts may one day encourage these teenagers to give back to their community.
Surveys administered to people about the Moran Ecoteen Program suggest that, to outsiders, the program is valuable and important to the Houston Museum of Natural Science. There is a consensus among program participants that the program is valuable to them, as they are able to feel somewhat connected to the museum, while learning a lot about themselves in the process. Statistically, the program appears to be effective; however, observations of the program and youth development literature suggest that there is much to be improved before the Moran Ecoteen Program can be considered truly successful.
and my all-time favorite:
The hierarchical structure of the Moran Ecoteen Program appears to be the largest obstacle to the effectiveness of the program. With this type of structure in place, Ecoteens are painfully aware of their position in the museum, and are made to feel isolated and invaluable to HMNS. Consequently, the young people do not feel properly utilized, and yearn to make a bigger contribution to the museum. The nonhierarchical structure suggested by the New Organization Thinking framework would allow the museum and program to adapt quickly to meet the needs of Ecoteens. Shifting to this new structure facilitates the improvement of the three areas most in need of further development.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
happy birthday to me...
today is my 29th birthday. today i am starting my 30th year on earth. holy crap! i'm old, but i don't feel old. sometimes i look at myself and think, shouldn't i look haggish by now? i mean, i still get carded EVERYWHERE, and get the child price at the movie theatre. when i watch tv and a show reveals someone's age, i think, "what? i'm older than her, but she looks like she could be my mom!" it's very disturbing.
anyway, at work, i didn't really expect any of the kids to give me anything. i've been telling them all week that my birthday was on the 9th, and told them i wanted them to be good for my birthday. you see, we have this empty jar and a bag of marbles...and we use it as some kind of bribe for good behavior to get ALL of the kids to settle down and behave.
all of us have some problem kids, so vickie and erique came up with this jar. all 32 kids have to be good (with their partner) for 1/2 a marble, and since we can't cut the marbles in half, if one kid is good, and his/her partner is bad, then the pair doesn't get a marble for the jar. the goal is to get the kids to understand that filling up the jar relies on their behavior, as well as every other kids' behavior, since it's a community jar. basically, it'll get filled up faster if everyone behaves. when the jar gets full, all of the kids will get a prize, since they worked together to fill it up.
i though the jar was going to be pretty small, but no. it's an 8 quart jar, and after two days, there were four marbles in the jar! the kids just don't get that if all 32 kids are good for one day, 16 marbles can go into the jar, and if every kid is good for the whole week (we have a 4 day week), 64 marbles go into the jar. the size of the jar is pretty daunting, and the kids see it as never getting full, especially when they think it's only their jar (so many kids have asked me where the other groups' jars are). none of the kids understand fractions or anything, so the jar really isn't doing it's intended job.
i tried my best to get the kids to understand it, and used my birthday as a way to get them to behave, like i wanted their behavior to be a present to me, which i would then reward with a present to them. for some reason, my birthday had the opposite effect. it got them so hyped up that i was only able to give one marble away. plus, two of the kids gave me presents.
anyway, at work, i didn't really expect any of the kids to give me anything. i've been telling them all week that my birthday was on the 9th, and told them i wanted them to be good for my birthday. you see, we have this empty jar and a bag of marbles...and we use it as some kind of bribe for good behavior to get ALL of the kids to settle down and behave.
all of us have some problem kids, so vickie and erique came up with this jar. all 32 kids have to be good (with their partner) for 1/2 a marble, and since we can't cut the marbles in half, if one kid is good, and his/her partner is bad, then the pair doesn't get a marble for the jar. the goal is to get the kids to understand that filling up the jar relies on their behavior, as well as every other kids' behavior, since it's a community jar. basically, it'll get filled up faster if everyone behaves. when the jar gets full, all of the kids will get a prize, since they worked together to fill it up.
i though the jar was going to be pretty small, but no. it's an 8 quart jar, and after two days, there were four marbles in the jar! the kids just don't get that if all 32 kids are good for one day, 16 marbles can go into the jar, and if every kid is good for the whole week (we have a 4 day week), 64 marbles go into the jar. the size of the jar is pretty daunting, and the kids see it as never getting full, especially when they think it's only their jar (so many kids have asked me where the other groups' jars are). none of the kids understand fractions or anything, so the jar really isn't doing it's intended job.
i tried my best to get the kids to understand it, and used my birthday as a way to get them to behave, like i wanted their behavior to be a present to me, which i would then reward with a present to them. for some reason, my birthday had the opposite effect. it got them so hyped up that i was only able to give one marble away. plus, two of the kids gave me presents.
angeles gave me a small (but heavy) glass block that had the lady of guadelupe in it. my first thought when opening the gift, after, "oh, how sweet...and heavy!" was, "well, at least i'm catholic." but it was cute that this little girl went through some decision-making process and ended up giving that particular gift to me. she wrapped it in a paper towel, and put it in a zip-loc bag. i loved it.
brianna also gave me something. brianna is in the same class as angeles, but i see them one at a time. when i dropped angeles back at her class, and brianna saw me, instead of walking toward me, she went to her cubby. i was running late, so i asked her to hurry, and she playfully told me she was getting something. i saw her pull something white out of her hello kitty messenger bag, and i thought, "oh, yay! she drew me a picture!" i instantly pictured myself framing the picture and putting it above my bed.
when we walked in the hallway to our classroom, instead of a picture, she handed me an envelope with a note on it from her mother that read, "for: trina, from: brianna f*****, happy birthday! (*please take it. brianna wanted to buy this for you*)." i assumed it was a card, which i still appreciated. again, i thought it was cute. i told brianna thank you, and was really touched. i wanted to give her a hug, but, you know, that's kind of a no-no these days.
later, i opened the envelope, and the front read, "for someone special...hope your birthday finds you smiling..." the greeting finished inside with, "...all day long!" i also saw that inside the card brianna wrote a little message in her big left-handed handwriting, "thank you for all your help. happy birthday trina from brianna." it made me smile. brianna's mom also wrote a little something: "a small token for your help with brianna. she talks to us about you all the time. thank you for your book for her. enjoy your birthday! brianna's mom (blanca)." inside the envelope was a $25 gift card for chili's. i was shocked, and immediately wondered what to do...could they afford this, especially for someone who they don't even really know? am i ethically allowed to accept this gift? i mean, i don't want to insult anyone, and i don't really see this affecting my tutoring. i've always enjoyed tutoring brianna (as previous posts can illustrate), and seeing her at the school is one of the highlights of my day. i like her, and want her to improve and read like a pro.
brianna also gave me something. brianna is in the same class as angeles, but i see them one at a time. when i dropped angeles back at her class, and brianna saw me, instead of walking toward me, she went to her cubby. i was running late, so i asked her to hurry, and she playfully told me she was getting something. i saw her pull something white out of her hello kitty messenger bag, and i thought, "oh, yay! she drew me a picture!" i instantly pictured myself framing the picture and putting it above my bed.
when we walked in the hallway to our classroom, instead of a picture, she handed me an envelope with a note on it from her mother that read, "for: trina, from: brianna f*****, happy birthday! (*please take it. brianna wanted to buy this for you*)." i assumed it was a card, which i still appreciated. again, i thought it was cute. i told brianna thank you, and was really touched. i wanted to give her a hug, but, you know, that's kind of a no-no these days.
later, i opened the envelope, and the front read, "for someone special...hope your birthday finds you smiling..." the greeting finished inside with, "...all day long!" i also saw that inside the card brianna wrote a little message in her big left-handed handwriting, "thank you for all your help. happy birthday trina from brianna." it made me smile. brianna's mom also wrote a little something: "a small token for your help with brianna. she talks to us about you all the time. thank you for your book for her. enjoy your birthday! brianna's mom (blanca)." inside the envelope was a $25 gift card for chili's. i was shocked, and immediately wondered what to do...could they afford this, especially for someone who they don't even really know? am i ethically allowed to accept this gift? i mean, i don't want to insult anyone, and i don't really see this affecting my tutoring. i've always enjoyed tutoring brianna (as previous posts can illustrate), and seeing her at the school is one of the highlights of my day. i like her, and want her to improve and read like a pro.
i almost started crying when i opened her card. seeing her message, and then reading her mom's message...that was wonderful and really made my day. the gift card wasn't needed. i was happy with just the card, and already on a high from angeles's ziploc gift. again, i like this job. it's stuff like this, and feeling like i'm doing something good, that makes me glad i do what i do.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
birthday eve...
tomorrow is my birthday, and, this morning, i got the only thing i really wanted...a phone call. from someone i think about everyday, but am separated from (hopefully just through geographical distance).
i'd been wishing for the call all month long, and was very surprised to get it this morning right before i started at work. it was a lovely conversation, put a smile on my face, and got me through the day. i loved every minute of the conversation, especially the part when i was asked to call when i got home from work. that ALSO got me through the day.
anyway, i still haven't commented on the new year. 2006 ended poorly. 2007 was pretty lonely. i don't know what's in store for 2008, since i just go with the flow, or whatever. i don't usually make things happen...i just hope and try to put good vibes out there. but, this year, i actually have a chance to make something happen, that "something" being an M.A. placed in my hand. if only i could get the damn thesis done!
i had every intention of being done on the 1st. however, in my defense, and this may blow up in my face, i tend to do my best work at the last minute. something about the stress bring me clarity, and i get focused. tonight, for example, i added a few things to my fourth chapter (which has ballooned to 63 pages, so i may have to add 25 more pages to my estimated total) that i'd been wracking my brain about. i can't rush it, but i know i have to get the ball rolling before i start getting nasty emails from dr. fox...not that she's capable of nasty emails, but i don't want nasty thoughts or something. i fully intend to be done with a first draft this sunday, so i can mail it on monday. that way, dr. fox will have a full week and a half to two weeks to look over it before her new semester starts (jan. 28). i'd send her the garbage i have, but i want to give it a little flair and polish, just so she can identify some possibility for my having taken so long.
on a different note, i've been heavily listening to four songs on repeat all day:
Remember to Breathe, by dashboard confessional
a live version of When You were Young that the killers played at the mtv video music awards one year
a live and acoustic version of Chocolate by snow patrol, from some performance known as "live and acoustic at park avenue"
November, by azure ray, which i think was on an episode of grey's anatomy or something
Remember to Breathe: She fixes her lips/They always look perfect/Never a smudge line,never too much/I try on my blue shirt/She told me she liked it...once/She wonders what I'll wear/She knows just what she'll wear/She always wears blue/So sneakers or flip-flops?/I'm starting to panic, wait wait/Remember she asked you/Remember to breathe/And everything will be okay/Okay/Okay/Alright/Alright/Alright/ Alright/Alright.../Okay./
When You were Young:You sit there in your heartache/Waiting on some beautiful boy to/To save you from your old ways/You play forgiveness/Watch it now/Here he comes/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But he talks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/Can we climb this mountain/I don't know/Higher now than ever before/I know we can make it if we take it slow/Let's take it easy/Easy now/Watch it go/We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane/That started turning/When you were young/When you were young/And sometimes you close your eyes/And see the place where you used to live/When you were young/They say the devil's water/It ain't so sweet/You don't have to drink right now/But you can dip your feet/Every once in a little while/You sit there in your heartache/Waiting on some beautiful boy to/To save you from your old ways/You play forgiveness/Watch it now/Here he comes/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But he talks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/Ttalks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But more than you'll ever know/
Chocolate:This could be the very minute/I'm aware I'm alive/All these places feel like home/With a name I'd never chosen/I can make my first steps/As a child of 25/This is the straw, final straw in the/Roof of my mouth falls as I lie to you/Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean/I didn't enjoy it at the time/You're the only thing that I love/It scares me more every day/On my knees I think clearer/Goodness knows I saw it coming/Or at least I'll claim I did/But in truth I'm lost for words/What have I done it's too late for that/What have I become, truth is nothing yet/A simple mistake starts the hardest time/I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time/
November:So I'm waiting for this test to end/So these lighter days can soon begin/I'll be alone but maybe more carefree/Like a kite that floats so effortlessly/I was afraid to be alone/Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be/All these faces none the same/How can there be so many personalities/So many lifeless empty hands/So many hearts in great demand/And now my sorrow seems so far away/Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain/But I turn them off and tuck them away 'till these rainy days that make them stay/And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs/And the words still ring, once here now gone/And they echo through my head everyday/And I dont think they'll ever go away/Just like thinking of your childhood home/But we cant go back we're on our own/Oh,but i'm about to give this one more/Shot/And find it in myself/I'll find it in myself/So were speeding towards that time of year/To the day that marks that you're not here/And i think I'll want to be alone/So please understand if I dont answer the phone/I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls/Until I can see nothing at all/Only particles some fast some slow/All my eyes can see is all I know/Ohh.../But I'm about to give this one more shot/And find it in myself/I'll find it in myself/
there's something about the lyrics, the music, the way the songs are performed...i don't know. i've just been in love with all of it today.
i'd been wishing for the call all month long, and was very surprised to get it this morning right before i started at work. it was a lovely conversation, put a smile on my face, and got me through the day. i loved every minute of the conversation, especially the part when i was asked to call when i got home from work. that ALSO got me through the day.
anyway, i still haven't commented on the new year. 2006 ended poorly. 2007 was pretty lonely. i don't know what's in store for 2008, since i just go with the flow, or whatever. i don't usually make things happen...i just hope and try to put good vibes out there. but, this year, i actually have a chance to make something happen, that "something" being an M.A. placed in my hand. if only i could get the damn thesis done!
i had every intention of being done on the 1st. however, in my defense, and this may blow up in my face, i tend to do my best work at the last minute. something about the stress bring me clarity, and i get focused. tonight, for example, i added a few things to my fourth chapter (which has ballooned to 63 pages, so i may have to add 25 more pages to my estimated total) that i'd been wracking my brain about. i can't rush it, but i know i have to get the ball rolling before i start getting nasty emails from dr. fox...not that she's capable of nasty emails, but i don't want nasty thoughts or something. i fully intend to be done with a first draft this sunday, so i can mail it on monday. that way, dr. fox will have a full week and a half to two weeks to look over it before her new semester starts (jan. 28). i'd send her the garbage i have, but i want to give it a little flair and polish, just so she can identify some possibility for my having taken so long.
on a different note, i've been heavily listening to four songs on repeat all day:
Remember to Breathe, by dashboard confessional
a live version of When You were Young that the killers played at the mtv video music awards one year
a live and acoustic version of Chocolate by snow patrol, from some performance known as "live and acoustic at park avenue"
November, by azure ray, which i think was on an episode of grey's anatomy or something
Remember to Breathe: She fixes her lips/They always look perfect/Never a smudge line,never too much/I try on my blue shirt/She told me she liked it...once/She wonders what I'll wear/She knows just what she'll wear/She always wears blue/So sneakers or flip-flops?/I'm starting to panic, wait wait/Remember she asked you/Remember to breathe/And everything will be okay/Okay/Okay/Alright/Alright/Alright/ Alright/Alright.../Okay./
When You were Young:You sit there in your heartache/Waiting on some beautiful boy to/To save you from your old ways/You play forgiveness/Watch it now/Here he comes/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But he talks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/Can we climb this mountain/I don't know/Higher now than ever before/I know we can make it if we take it slow/Let's take it easy/Easy now/Watch it go/We're burning down the highway skyline/On the back of a hurricane/That started turning/When you were young/When you were young/And sometimes you close your eyes/And see the place where you used to live/When you were young/They say the devil's water/It ain't so sweet/You don't have to drink right now/But you can dip your feet/Every once in a little while/You sit there in your heartache/Waiting on some beautiful boy to/To save you from your old ways/You play forgiveness/Watch it now/Here he comes/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But he talks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/Ttalks like a gentleman/Like you imagined/When you were young/I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus/He doesn't look a thing like Jesus/But more than you'll ever know/
Chocolate:This could be the very minute/I'm aware I'm alive/All these places feel like home/With a name I'd never chosen/I can make my first steps/As a child of 25/This is the straw, final straw in the/Roof of my mouth falls as I lie to you/Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean/I didn't enjoy it at the time/You're the only thing that I love/It scares me more every day/On my knees I think clearer/Goodness knows I saw it coming/Or at least I'll claim I did/But in truth I'm lost for words/What have I done it's too late for that/What have I become, truth is nothing yet/A simple mistake starts the hardest time/I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time/
November:So I'm waiting for this test to end/So these lighter days can soon begin/I'll be alone but maybe more carefree/Like a kite that floats so effortlessly/I was afraid to be alone/Now I'm scared thats how I'd like to be/All these faces none the same/How can there be so many personalities/So many lifeless empty hands/So many hearts in great demand/And now my sorrow seems so far away/Until I'm taken by these bolts of pain/But I turn them off and tuck them away 'till these rainy days that make them stay/And then I'll cry so hard to these sad songs/And the words still ring, once here now gone/And they echo through my head everyday/And I dont think they'll ever go away/Just like thinking of your childhood home/But we cant go back we're on our own/Oh,but i'm about to give this one more/Shot/And find it in myself/I'll find it in myself/So were speeding towards that time of year/To the day that marks that you're not here/And i think I'll want to be alone/So please understand if I dont answer the phone/I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls/Until I can see nothing at all/Only particles some fast some slow/All my eyes can see is all I know/Ohh.../But I'm about to give this one more shot/And find it in myself/I'll find it in myself/
there's something about the lyrics, the music, the way the songs are performed...i don't know. i've just been in love with all of it today.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Saturday, January 05, 2008
proving my leadership skills like whoa...
okay, so that's not a picture of me, but, since i don't own this shirt, i couldn't photograph myself wearing it; however, i do frequently purchase shirts from the website you can buy it at.
anyway...
so it's taken me nine months, but i started working on my thesis again. since i work at an elementary school and get the pleasure of operating within the HISD school calendar, when the kids are off, i'm off too. lovely. the past three weeks have been my HISD mandated "winter break," and i've tried not to waste EVERY single second of it. give me high fives, and pats on the back, because, ladies and gentlemen, i have actually worked on my thesis!
i spent the winter break rewriting chapter one, reviewing chapter two, editing and rewriting chapter three, adding to and editing chapter four, rerunning and reworking my statistics, finding more publications to support my research, and contacting article authors and the ecoteen director for further information to help my thesis. i no longer have just three and a half chapters of pseudo-intellectual and embarassing ramblings. now, my thesis resembles four and a half chapters of something academic. my thesis, as a whole, will be comprised of five chapters.
although it probably needs some rewrite-related working, all i have left is to add a bit of substance and length to my analysis section, and write a concluding chapter. i'm actually a bit proud of myself, and can't help thinking how wonderful and freeing it will be at this time next year. yeah, i'll have that awful student loan bill to contend with and stress out about, but at least i'll have this darn paper over with. i saw a preview for a movie that's coming out this summer, and i couldn't help but get excited that when that movie comes out, i'll have my M.A.!
the more and more i write and get closer to finishing a complete draft of my thesis, the more i feel that this huge burden is being lifted off of my shoulders. i'm starting to feel like i'm less and less of a slave. my ball and chain is starting to loosen!
it's no big secret that i'm not very happy. i feel very lonely and depressed more often than not, all because i feel like i've put my life on hold for this darn paper. ever since i started doing anything having to do with the thesis (i.e., the proposal, the clearance form for human subjects, the actual research, etc.), i've been unhappy. it sucked up my time, even when i wasn't working on it, because i was ALWAYS thinking about it. i'm constantly thinking about it.
but now it's closer to being done. i have a goal of graduating in may with my friend heather. she put me in touch with a formatter, who is super supportive, and even told me about a conversation she had with dr. fox. apparently, dr. fox is really looking forward to getting us our M.A.s and setting us out into the world of museums. she has a lot of faith in us, and that's nice to know, especially when i feel like a failure all the time.
thus far, i have 92 pages of actual text written. i anticipate at least 30 more pages to complete the chapters. after my appendices and references, it looks like my thesis will be 160-175 pages, before committee-mandated rewrites and editing. the way i see it, as long as i have that first draft, i'm good. as long as they see where i attempted to go, i'm good. with dr. fox as my chairperson, and a former book editor, i'll have a good foundation to start with before she tells me what to add, what to omit.
i feel good about this stuff. M.A., here i come.
happy new year to you! i'm trying to make this year eventful for me.
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