okay, so that's not a picture of me, but, since i don't own this shirt, i couldn't photograph myself wearing it; however, i do frequently purchase shirts from the website you can buy it at.
anyway...
so it's taken me nine months, but i started working on my thesis again. since i work at an elementary school and get the pleasure of operating within the HISD school calendar, when the kids are off, i'm off too. lovely. the past three weeks have been my HISD mandated "winter break," and i've tried not to waste EVERY single second of it. give me high fives, and pats on the back, because, ladies and gentlemen, i have actually worked on my thesis!
i spent the winter break rewriting chapter one, reviewing chapter two, editing and rewriting chapter three, adding to and editing chapter four, rerunning and reworking my statistics, finding more publications to support my research, and contacting article authors and the ecoteen director for further information to help my thesis. i no longer have just three and a half chapters of pseudo-intellectual and embarassing ramblings. now, my thesis resembles four and a half chapters of something academic. my thesis, as a whole, will be comprised of five chapters.
although it probably needs some rewrite-related working, all i have left is to add a bit of substance and length to my analysis section, and write a concluding chapter. i'm actually a bit proud of myself, and can't help thinking how wonderful and freeing it will be at this time next year. yeah, i'll have that awful student loan bill to contend with and stress out about, but at least i'll have this darn paper over with. i saw a preview for a movie that's coming out this summer, and i couldn't help but get excited that when that movie comes out, i'll have my M.A.!
the more and more i write and get closer to finishing a complete draft of my thesis, the more i feel that this huge burden is being lifted off of my shoulders. i'm starting to feel like i'm less and less of a slave. my ball and chain is starting to loosen!
it's no big secret that i'm not very happy. i feel very lonely and depressed more often than not, all because i feel like i've put my life on hold for this darn paper. ever since i started doing anything having to do with the thesis (i.e., the proposal, the clearance form for human subjects, the actual research, etc.), i've been unhappy. it sucked up my time, even when i wasn't working on it, because i was ALWAYS thinking about it. i'm constantly thinking about it.
but now it's closer to being done. i have a goal of graduating in may with my friend heather. she put me in touch with a formatter, who is super supportive, and even told me about a conversation she had with dr. fox. apparently, dr. fox is really looking forward to getting us our M.A.s and setting us out into the world of museums. she has a lot of faith in us, and that's nice to know, especially when i feel like a failure all the time.
thus far, i have 92 pages of actual text written. i anticipate at least 30 more pages to complete the chapters. after my appendices and references, it looks like my thesis will be 160-175 pages, before committee-mandated rewrites and editing. the way i see it, as long as i have that first draft, i'm good. as long as they see where i attempted to go, i'm good. with dr. fox as my chairperson, and a former book editor, i'll have a good foundation to start with before she tells me what to add, what to omit.
i feel good about this stuff. M.A., here i come.
happy new year to you! i'm trying to make this year eventful for me.
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