this will make your utereus ache (if you have one)...

i was reading an old issue of "time magazine," and i came across an article about the "best" videos submitted and aired on ABC's america's funniest videos. why "time" decided to cover this "story," i have no idea, but in a moment of procrastination, i decided to look one of them up on youtube, and came across the following clip, which, i have to admit, is pretty cute (it would be WAY cuter is the parents didn't speak though):



watching this clip made me look for this other video (http://www.hrtwrk.com/video/gooddoctor.mov) with this african american kid talking crazy for TRIGON Blue Cross Blue Shield. i used to watch it whenever i felt like a laugh, and, guess what, on youtube there are a series of commercials for the company. these child actors remind me of the kids i tutor.

commercial 1


commercial 2


commercial 3 (different child actors)


commercial 4 (another one with a different kid)

a long post about my job, tutorees, and stuff...

since i haven't posted in a while, i thought i would present you with an extra long entry to tide you over until the next time i feel the urge to purge what's on my mind...

so, i have a new job. i think i've written that before. but, anyway, after solving conflicts with teachers and our tutoring schedules, i think everything has settled into a stable schedule that appeases the teachers. this now means that on mondays, tuesdays, and thursdays, i start 10 minutes earlier. no big deal. i wake up at 745 and am able to beat the traffic that clogs up 59, I-10, 610, AND 45. unfortunately, my wednesday schedule sucks! i have to start at 730, which means i have to wake up at 5 to be out the door in time to tell the traffic to suck it.

many of the teachers were upset that we were pulling kids out at inconvenient times, which really kind of irked me. i mean, they're the ones who nominated these kids as being poor readers for this program, and now they are going to bitch and moan that the program is screwing with their schedule? sometimes i feel like the teachers just don't give a crap about these kids, because they aren't as "advanced" or whatnot. maybe i'm just to much of an ideaalist, but if i were a teacher, i honestly know that i would be sacrificing all kinds of things to make it work so a kid would succeed with his or her education, in addition to other parts of life.

anyway, after the initial progress monitoring tests, some kids were shuffled around and given to new tutors (there are 4 of us at the school, with another 4 at a different school...64 kids total, 32 at each school). my original batch of 8 ended up becoming 7 + 1, when one little girl with behavioral issues wasn't responding well to me or to any kid she was paired with. the project coordinator decided that maybe she'd respond better to a man...maybe she was the kind of kid who'd be more intimidated by a guy. at first i was a little offended, and upset that i couldn't get this kid to settle down and try to learn, but then i realized that i wanted her taken away from me, because she was just too much trouble and i didn't like her. yeah, i know, i'm a shitty person i guess. this is someone's kid, their baby, and i am basically saying, "go away." but i would rather she be with a different tutor, because that makes me more effective with the remaining kid. with her around, it was too much discipline and scolding, and not enough teaching. i spent more time getting her to actually look at the activity in front of her, than on doing the activity itself.

well, that +1 i ended up trading that problematic kid for was a little girl the other tutor had trouble with. i don't know why he had a tough time with her. i love her. she's supersmart, yet bubbly, and i think she's hilarious. i look forward to seeing her every day just to hear what'll come out of her mouth. whenever i see her during the 5 hours i'm at the school, she always stretches out her arms for me to take her to tutoring, even though she knows i only see her for 40 minutes after lunch. we have an inside joke, where i pick her up from her room and ask her if she's ready. she responds with a "no" and a smile. every lesson we do has a series of different words. as she moves from one lesson to the next, she picks up a new favorite word and makes songs or dances to them. first it was "pop," and then it was "jig" and "jug." now it's "buzz."

after initial assessments/progress monitoring, the week before thanksgiving, it was discovered that the 4 pairs of kids i had (and a few that other tutors had) needed to be resorted or split up. there were too many reading level differences between the pairs (for example, grade level for 1st grade is 60 words a minute. i had a pair of first graders where one kid read 53 wpm and the other read 6wpm). i lost 3 of my original kids, and gained 3 kids from other tutors. both my original third graders were taken away from me, and split between two tutors. it turns out, one of them, the boy who read 39 words a minute, was special ed, which i had been specualting for a while. it seems like the three kids i really liked were taken from me, and i was given not so fun kids in their place. of course, that's probably because i bonded with my 7 + 1.

so, the little OG kid i had at the beginning of all this (pablo) had to be given to another tutor, and i took one of her kids...a little fat girl who says "stickuhs" instead of "stickers." she's growing on me, but i miss the little thug boy i had in her place. he was like a little man. he would have been my challenge, since he could only read 6 words a minute and didn't know many of the sounds associated with the letters and groupings of letters in the alphabet. now, instead of kids' reading skills being my challenge, i now have to deal with lazy pronunciations and a pair of third grade girls with attitude problems. i can totally tell that my new third graders are going to be "mean girls" when they get older. heaven help the unpopular kids at their schools in the upcoming years. instead of 7 + 1 (which later turned back into 8, when i fully accepted the new girl, and now don't even consider the first problem girl mine), i now have 5 + 3.

anyway...i am growing to love my job. it's temporary and offers no benefits, and i worry about what will happen in may when the school year is over, but i can't let that get to me. i just have to enjoy and make the best of the 5 + 3. some of the things i've learned about them and heard them say make my day, such as:

pair 1:
gerardo's mom's name is anna. his mom and dad don't live together, but are still married. he watched the latest version of "halloween" with them on separate occasions last week, and can't get the theme music out of his head. he only has one pair of black shoes, and they are his wheelies.

angeles's grandmother died in a church after dancing too much. a baptismal fount factored into the story at some point. i don't know how, but it was mentioned. i can barely understand her diction sometimes.

pair 2:
brianna only wants pink star stickers, so i have to save them for her for the ends of our sessions. her favorite color is pink. whenever i let her choose her big sticker for her sticker page, i write in my record book about what we did and what comments i have, i write in cursive. none of the kids can read cursive, but she always watches me write and says, in a cute hispanic accent, "strange words," but it sounds like "stuh-range woreds." and she repeats it until i'm done writing. instead of "santa claus is coming to town," she beleives it's "super man is coming to town." she hates gym class. she also hates cold weather because she can't stand the white long sleeved turtlenecks her mother makes her wear. she went to mexico last weekend and fainted, so doctors gave her a shot on her shoulder. she likes to drink red gatorade and eat hot dogs and cheeseburgers.

angel's favorite color is green. he calls me "miss traina." he talks. A LOT. he told me he never does his homework, he just goes home, changes his clothes, and plays his PSP. he likes playing a WWE game on his PS2. he also has a little sister who scratches him and leaves scars on his neck/chest. his favorite word is "bunny." when i give them practice stories to take home and read, he reads them while sitting on the toilet.

pair 3:
jasmine's dad only gets "a couple of bucks" for working on skyscrapers' wires. her father's friend and colleague died after falling on the job. she has a trampoline in her front yard. her sister is in the kindergarten room next to the tutoring room. she's "a good student."

jeffery's tia had a miscarriage, and to hear him retell the entire story is like listening to a bad sci-fi radio play, expecially when the little boy has no idea how babies are made, and where they are in a woman's body, in the first place. when he was absent last week, jasmine played word bingo by herself. when jefferey finally played bingo, he thought it was unfair that jasmine got to play alone. he asked me if she won, to which i responded, of course, because he wasn't there to play against her. he said he was there. his "espirito was there."

pair 4:
jennefer (said "you spelled my name wrong," when i wrote j-e-n-n-i-f-e-r) and andrea (ahn-drey-ah) are the two third graders who are too good for this world, apparently. they have the ability to invoke blackmail and extortionist activities, when the situation calls for their desire to gain information. for example, they were saying tongue twisters, and instead of being informed correctly, that it is "peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers," they said, "peter pecker and his peppers." i told them never to say "pecker," because it wasn't a great word. i didn't think before speaking. as soon as i said that, they wanted to know what "pecker" meant. knowing that it was better for me to keep my mouth shut than actually tell them, i hinted that they would figure it out in the next few years. this response didn't sit well with them, and they decided that if i didn't tell them, they would let it be known to the entire school, as well as to the program coordinator, that i had a tattoo (we're supposed to cover them up, but the one on my wrist peeks out a little from under my watch. the women who hired me haven't seen the tattoo...i wore a sweater during my interview). fun.

blackmailed by a third grader seems like no big deal, but these days, kids are evil, and courts are so sensitive to what they have to say, that they would surely lock me up in jail by misconstruing that i merely let them know that "pecker" wasn't a word i thought they should repeat over and over, rather than showed them someone's pecker. and, no, dirty people, i neither told them nor showed them. i just said i didn't want to hear the word, and that the world of euphemisms, slang, and nicknames would be revealed to them in due time. also, i didn't say anything, because i feared that it was bad enough that i told them an anecdote about my use of a ouija board during an elementary school slumber party, and corrected their retelling of the bloody mary urban legend (a topic they have brought up every day since i butted into their conversation). i tried to fix my bloody mary mistake by, instead, telling them about the real, historic, bloody mary, but now i have them confused and thinking that the bloddy mary from the dark bathroom mirror that claws at your face was one of britain's royal monarchs, Mary I, daughter of henry VIII. i could have then taught them the Henry VII song. why couldn't i just have said that bloody mary was the name of a drink? i wouldn't have even had to say it was an alcoholic one. i could have just left it as a generic drink. what the hell? anyway...

so that's my job, and those are the kids i work with. it's not so bad really. there could be worse jobs, co-workers, and people to be around.

times like these...victimized (again)

so, my last entry was all about how i hoped my brother never ended up being denied things because of his past. well, i found out about five minutes ago that my brother took $40 out of my wallet. when i went to confront him, he got pissed. my mom talked to him, and, it turns out, he stole my money. what the hell? he gets mad at me for stealing my money?!! this happened last year too, but instead of $40, he pawned my high school ring, my guitar, my dvd player, my manual camera (with film still in it from the ethnobotany exhibit), and my prized possession: my shelf stereo complete with tape deck, cd player, and record player. and once, back during my days as a TAMUG student, he stole my tuition money from under my mattress. i'd been hiding it that night because i was going to get a cashier's check the next day to pay my tuition. that money was in excess of $3000.

he's always stealing. he's been stealing since he was in elementary school. i don't know what he does with the stuff and why he needs the money. he has a job, and wants to get his own place and save up for a down payment on a car. but, his checking account is always negative, and he's been reported to a credit bureau for failure to pay his only credit card. i'm sorry, but having bad credit and a negative checking account is not going to get you an apartment or a car.

tough love doesn't work. we did that last year, and my mom and i have too much of a heart to kick him to the curb in the cold when he doesn't have a job, cell phone, or car. he was on drugs, and my fear is that he'll slip up, do some PCP or whatever it is, go berzerk, and kill us all during the night. i know that's insane, but it's where my mind goes when this stuff happens. i know that it's only $40, but it's only $40 now. over the years, it adds up. and, yes, most of that stuff is material stuff, but that material stuff has memories. that stereo was a graduation gift from my favorite uncle, and we'd use it to listen to old folk records.

in september, we checked him into a drug treatment facility with a 30 day program. after their initial assessment and counseling session, the administrators believed that his condition and addiction was so bad that he wouldn't benefit from their 30 day program. they suggested that he enroll in their 7 month program. after looking around, my brother refused to stay. he didn't want to be around homeless people and junkies. he had to much pride to stay and get help, even though he told me he had a drug problem and wanted help (first step, right?). my dad refused to let him come home. they struck a deal that he would stay two weeks. all of us hoped that those two weeks would do something--anything--and he'd end up staying 30 days. wrong. he came back in 13 days, and got a checking account and a job, but now he's negative and hates his boss.

anyway, my brother comes into my room after my mom talks to/yells at him and apologizes. like that fixes everything. like that brings my $40 back. that apology isn't going to fill my gas tank, you know?

UGH. i just don't know what to do.

catch a break...

i have the week off, so yesterday morning i went to the library at 9am, only to discover that the library didn't open until noon. so, i headed over to doublshots to waste some time, write some letters, and have a cup of coffee.

there was this guy who sat at one of the tables waiting. for a long time. finally, this large woman came and they made small talk before she started interviewing him for a job. she asked him where he's worked the longest, why he left that job, what his last title was, etc. and then she asked him about jail. apparently, he's been having a hard time finding a job since he left prision, because he was in prison. i didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it's not like people were whispering in the place. hell, i even know what the group of women on the OTHER side of the coffeeshop are going to do this weekend!

anyway, the guy was in prison for "hibernating." from what i could gather, he was aiding and abedding his cousin, so he ended up being arrested and thrown in jail. after what seemed like 45 minutes, of interviews and making calls, the woman told the guy that she coudln't help him by hiring him for a job with her company. i felt really bad for the guy. she apologized for wasting his time, and he thanked her for the opportunity, and said he would move on and go about trying to find something else. to console him, one of the baristas told him to make sure that he didn't give up. apparently the barista had a 10 year rap sheet, finally had a job, and was turning his life around.

i thought that was pretty nice. i just felt really bad for the guy going through the interview. i hope my brother never ends up in that kind of situation.

WWEHGD? (What Would Elaine Heumann Gurian Do?)

i had an interview friday afternoon for a museum job i really wanted and i blew it.

i guess it's all for the best though, because i have a pretty good job right now and i like it. it's challenging in all the ways it should be, and i feel pretty engaged with the kids. i feel like i'm doing something meaningful and valuable; however, the job is temporary and without benefits. although i've been asked if i would be interested to return next fall when the program is expected to grow and branch out, come may, i'll be unemployed.

oh yeah, for those out of the loop, i'm no longer with HMNS. i now work as a reading tutor at an elementary school for the UT Health Science Center-Houston. all those years of being an aggie, and i now find myself working for damn longhorns. oh, well...it's not like i was hardcore and bled maroon anyway.

there are eight kids i tutor for a reading intervention program that uses the phono-grafix method. i have 4 first graders, 2 second graders, and 2 third graders, each reading below their grade level. this past week, i learned that kindergartners should be able to read 30 words a minute, and that during each grade thereafter, a student should add 30 more words a minute, meaning, theoretically, that by the time a student is ready for 6th grade, they should be able to read 180 words a minute. apparently, researchers have concluded that kids who don't have grade-level reading skills by the time they're in 3rd grade are highly likely to drop out of high school. i believe them. it helps explain my brother's repeating second grade and his subsequent dropping out of high school in his junior year.

the kids i tutor are cute, and each day i look forward to how the tutoring sessions will go and what crazy things will come out of their mouths. for example, one kid told me his aunt was sad because she miscarried a baby last week, and when i offered my condolences, he went on to explain miscarriage to me. let's just say he either has a vivid imagination or his aunt is a creature from outer space where things happen differently. another little boy i tutor is really cute. i like him because he's super-motivated and is proving to be my success story...he is sounding out words and trying to read by himself. he told me his favorite word is "bunny," which i think is the cutest thing. i sent him home recently with a 6-line story about a fat cat that sat on a variety of items and people, and told him to read the story for practice. the next day i asked if he read the story, and he said yes, that he'd read it like a newspaper while sitting on his toilet at home.

this past thursday, we did some reading fluency assessment tests as a baseline for measuring their progress until the end of the school year. my best student was a third grader who is able to read 112 words a minute. she is definitely on her way to better reading skills, i guess, but, to be honest, she's been pretty good at the activities thus far, so i don't quite understand why she's in the program in the first place. she's very smart and reads aloud well. the third grade boy she's partnered with, however, reads 39 words a minute. now the project coordinators are worried about him.

my lowest scorer is one first grade kid i look forward to seeing, just because he's a hoot. i like all of the kids for their own reasons, and this kid i like because he dresses and seems like an immature adult gangster in a child's body, that is in dire need of some growth hormone. some of the kindergartners are taller than this kid! he's this little ghetto thug o.g., with a ring on his index finger and a double-wrapped gold chain with a HUGE medallion with his name on it around his neck. he has a bit of an attitude and i get him, but the poor kid reads six words a minute. he actually "read" 11 words, but spelled most of them instead of reading them, so i had to count those as errors. now, after the assessments, the project coordinators will have to shuffle around and repair the kids, because, obviously it would be unfair to pair a kid who reads 112 words per minute with a kid who reads 39 words a minute. neither would be able to progress in a way most suited to them. my only fear now is that there will be some insecurity and self-esteem issues when a first grader loses his buddy or a third grader now finds himself paired with a first grader. how do you explain to a kid that his partner aces reading now, and that he sucks at it, which is why they can't be partners anymore? i'm already trying to think of reasons to tell the mini gangster why his partner is gone.

anyway, i always knew that the work involved with my new job would be imbued with meaning, but i honestly didn't realize how much these kids would need this program until i saw the results of the fluency tests.

it's not like this is "dangerous minds" or "freedom writers" here, but thinking about how something as simple as reading can make or break a kid's future makes me cheer up about screwing up on my interview today. if i did do well, and ended up scoring a second interview, and then the job, i would have had to make the decision about leaving the kids and a job i have grown to love. i'm sure that these kids will one day forget me, and it will be like i never existed in their lives, but, for me, right now, this is what i want to be doing (looking forward to going to work), and where (not physically "where," but, you know what i mean. hopefully) i want to be. unfortunately, it's just not in a museum. i don't know if i will ever feel this way about museum work, which is a scary thought, but i feel like i had to try my best at the interview and try to get a museum job. i mean, my entire higher educational life has been devoted to a museum career! i know i can't be a reading tutor my entire life, and that my goal is to have employment benefits in the near future, which is why i had to give the interview a shot.

i guess i'm just overthinking things and making desperate attempts to justify and explain my horrible interview skills this afternoon.

oh, by the way elaine heumann gurian is a museum professional i admire, and one of the people on the editorial staff of the leading american museum journal curator.

raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

Oprah Winfrey has nothing on me...

these are a few of my favorite things:

NPR's Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me radio program
NPR on Saturdays (starting at 9am with Car Talk, followed by these back to back programs: Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me, Says You, World of Opera, All Things Considered, and A Prarie Home Companion)
Podcasts...especially Diggnation, This Week in Tech, and Brain Food
Diners
Chico in the Fall
A Diet Cherry Limeade from Sonic
The ice at Sonic
The Alamo Drafthouse
Tacos
The TV show House (and anything having to do with Hugh Laurie)
The sound made when I type on my laptop
Listening to music in my car
Films by Wes Anderson, Noah Baumbach, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Ang Lee, and Cameron Crowe
My pillow from the Club Quarters (a sophisticated hotel) in San Francisco
Writing letters and sending postcards
Wind
Driving around when it's cold outside, with my windows down
Going to see a Houston Ballet performance
Unexpected phone calls from someone I like
Films and TV shows where Justin Kirk plays one of the featured characters
Being able to download current episodes of Weeds the day after they air...especially since I don't have Showtime
Azureus
Anything pertaining to Charles Schulz's Peanuts
Reading books for leisure
My leather bound journal
Walgreens Apothecary lip balm
Walgreens
Target
Sweater Weather...especially when it's bright and sunny, but freezing at the same time
Low-top Converse sneakers
Men's Fruit of the Loom boxer briefs
Vince Guaraldi's music for all the Peanuts/Charlie Brown cartoons
My worn-in kids shearling boots from Costco (ca. 2005)
Volkswagen Touaregs
Movie soundtracks/scores
Printed socks, especially if the print is bizarre or crazy
The look and feel of Apple products
XM Satellite Radio...especially channel 28, OnBroadway
The Office
Laughter
Gene Kelly's films...they make me happy
Comedy CDs
Sara Lee Pumpkin Pie
C.O. Bigelow Mentha Body Wash
Sunsilk shampoo packets from the Philippines
Bedroom slippers and fleece pajamas
Oroweat 12 Grain wheat bread
Printed t-shirts from Threadless.com
Getting through a difficult part of a game on my Nintendo DS
Being five years old
Microsoft Excel
Archer Farms Monster Trail Mix
Kraft Caramels
Starbucks' seasonal coffee choices (Peppermint Mochas, Gingerbread Lattes, Pumpkin Spice Lattes...)
Brand-new Papermate felt tip pens or the discontinued Uniball Vision Exact pens
Blueprint Magazine
The whimsy of Pushing Daisies
American Apparel and Alternative Apparel plain tees
Sitting in the pit of a live John Mayer concert
Old-school Disney movies à la Winnie the Pooh or Sleeping Beauty
Steve Carell
Getting into a book written by Nick Hornby or Mike Gayle
Thursday night televsion
Project Runway
My current job

And last, but certainly not least, this film trailer:

my favorite uncle

blockbuster total access

so, i personally think that blockbuster is a waste of money. $3.99 to rent every movie in the store?!!! when did that happen? i remember when it was $1.99 to rent non-new releases, and now they want to stiff me $4 each time i walk into the store!? that's complete BS, which is weird, because i am LOVING their total access netflix-type program. i just make a list of all the movies in the world i have to see before i die, and then they send me three movies practically every week off that list?! and all i do is pay $15 a month, and i can watch anywhere between 3 to 12 movies every month. hot damn. i've only been a member for a little over a week now, but it seems totally worth it.

reunions, schmeeuions

last night was my 10 year high school reunion. i'm sure a lot of planning went into it, but i thought it kind of sucked. it wasn't so much that the people made the night awful, it was a combination of the price to attend, the location, and the food. it was nice to meet up with a few people i hadn't seen in a while, but at a place in the middle of nowhere? i swear i was driving to get murdered just to get there. thank god for kim and irene, who let me drive along with them. otherwise, i would have gotten really lost and killed.

i don't know about the other people who attended, but i was pretty disappointed. of course, i was also nervous to even be there, so much so that i think i talked a big mess--trying to make jokes, cussing up a storm, being loud, (actually admitting that i did data entry!) and also being mean. somehow, i get like that when i'm nervous. i'm trying to work on it, but, as anyone sitting next to me could agree, i have a lot of work to do. i should have totally worked on being a better person, but up until this afternoon, i didn't want to go. i agonized over it...i was torn: go and waste $40 or stay home and wonder if i should have gone? in the end, i went because irene called me about it, and i then had the option of arriving with at least one person i knew, and would then be saved the embarassment of walking in alone, and not recognizing the people already there, or having to stand all by myself until erwin arrived to ignore me by opting to instead entertain people for about two hours. (and only when 1/10th of the original crowd remained would he then talk to me. happens every time, but i'm to blame, because i let it happen; however, i did bring it up with him yesterday , which might have pissed him off, or made him aware--i don't know what--which might then explain the two huggish-type gestures he gave to me before i left.)

i really did enjoy seeing irene, kim, lawrence, jaya, carey, and nataki. many people i wanted to see weren't there (stephen tang, rifi, lu ren, priya nair, james franks, annie wu, tracey su, kafi spinks...), which was lame, but to the people i did see, it was good to see you.

the best movies i've seen in a while...

i love me that justin kirk...

puccini for beginners:

flannel pajamas:


on another note...how hot is this?:

another one for the list...

i haven't forgotten my list of strange member names. it's just that over the past month, there haven't been any good ones. until now. i bring you...

Ms. Fanny Man

no kidding. that's a real person. yes, i know, the name isn't vulgar by US standards, but if this were the UK, that name would be freaking hilarious.

not sure what to make of it...

so, yesterday the power in the area where i work went out. it was about noon. i was on the computer printing membership cards and letters when everything went dark. however, because the museum has its own generator for just that type of scenario, the lights came back on, but an announcement was made over the internal intercom system that everyone--visitors and staff--was to go out into the main hall for an announcement. so, everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, went out to the grand hall.

now, if you've ever gone to the houston museum of natural science, there is a little area on the second floor that has a railing. if you go up to the railing, you can see out over the the entire first floor. while everyone was in the grand hall, the president of the museum, dr. joel barscht (former curator of gems and minerals) stood at the railing, looking down upon all of the museum visitors and staff. he never said anything. i don't know why.

my supervisor, jill, was out at a papasitos and was just about to order when the power went out. since she coudln't eat, she just hopped back in her car and went back to the museum. she missed the ruckus at HMNS.

anyway, after the incident, when three of my coworkers and supervisor were back down in the "office," this transpired:

setting: downstairs, in the HMNS basement, five women ages 19-28 are seated in front of computers. periodically, to stay awake, they will speak out loud, to no one in particular.

TRINA, as she hits "print" on her computer screen, and staples a stack of papers together, to no one in particular: I though Joel was going to say something.

JILL, reaches for a styrofoam cup filled with a beverage: Why do you say that?

Jill takes a sip of her drink from a straw.

TRINA: Well, they said over the loudspeaker that everyone was supposed to go to the grand hall for an announcement. You know that balcony area on the second floor where you can look down at the Grand Hall? Dr. Barscht was standing there. I thought he was going to say something like Evita.

Instantly, a look comes over Jill. She smiles and chokes on her drink.

JILL: Remind me to never eat or drink anything when I talk to you.

the end

is this a compliment or what? i've been told all week that i'm funny, and i can hear jill giggle sometimes when i say stuff, so i'm hoping she means i'm a comedian and she's close to doing a spit-take.

kids say the darndest things...

one of my co-workers suggested that i watch this video on funnyordie.com. i thought it was going to be retarded, but no. it's actually pretty hilarious!

uh huh...

my brother's friend is on "the bachelor."

my brother's friend brad used to date her.

my brother says brad told him that amber said she "won." meaning...andy baldwin + amber whateverherlastnameis = LOVE


damn. i wanted him to end up with tina, someone who doesn't seem high maintenance. and i swear this is my first time to ever really watch the show. and if she really does get chosen by that hot yet somewhat off bachelor, well...i knew before you did. ha!

if i could sing...

this is what i'd sound like:

exactly

more! more! more!

more names to add to the running list mentioned in the post below...

Richard Byrd, who is married to Cynthia Fowler
Christina White, who is married to Kenneth Snow
Lance Raper
Anita Weiner

needless to say, i am in DESPERATE need of some mental stimulation at work.

ps. holy crap, did you watch "lost?" did you!!!??????

what's in a name?

so, my job is completely unchallenging. therefore, i have to invent ways to keep my brain stimulated and awake, because i'm sure my supervisor is going to think that i either have a bladder control problem or OCD, due to my frequent trips to the bathroom. i actually am neither. i just start falling asleep at my "desk," and get up to walk a few feet outside of the "office," so i don't fall right onto my keyboard and break it or something.

anyway, one thing i do to get the synapses in my brain firing at least once during my 830-530 committment to employment is think about all of the names i see on the forms, and keep a running list of the "interesting" ones. thus far, the best names i've come across, and, mind you, these are REAL people who are members of the houston museum of natural science, are:

Jim Doody
Mary Caka
Joey Titzman

yeah, so, i just want to supplement this by saying that my sense of humor is diverse. don't think, just because of this entry, that my favorite comedic film is "half-baked," "zoolander," or some crap like that. it's just...that's the best i can do to keep myself awake until lunchtime.

in other happenings...

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

well...DUH!

at the workplace

so, i just wanted to share this tidbit of my day.

all day today, i heard people compain about school, graduation, professors, and lectures. this girl who works in advanced sales, which is a "department" right behing my "office" complained to my supervisor today about some exit exam she didn't know she was supposed to take for graduation (where do these people go to school?!!!). only, what she said was, "there are these exit exams, and i haven't tooken them yet!"

i kid you not.

people, i work amongst the creme de la creme of the academic world.

file this under untitled

about a year ago, i got into south park. in the spirit of the new season, i stole this from irene's blog...

i present my south park character: me




Click here to make one

yesterday

six months ago yesterday was the worst day of my life.

for the record...

i just want to be the first to say (and, mind you, it's not out of jealousy or whatnot, but rather, disgust), that the key to getting into john mayer's pants is meeting all of the following requirements:

1. having a name that begins with the letter J
2. being 5'3" or shorter
3. being an airhead
4. having an ample (i.e., DD or larger) bosom
5. faking like you are funny and/or stupidly happy all the time

exhibit A: mayer dated jennifer love hewitt
exhibit B: mayer is currently dating jessica simpson (eeeeeeeeeyyyyuck! i swear, the man has got to do better. she must either be completely different in her non-tv life, or she must be good in bed or whatever, because i just don't see what her redeeming qualities could be.)

on a different note, i want to see "the namesake" sooooooooooo bad!!!

so...

i am now an office drone.

my co-workers are ghetto (it's somewhat of a bad sign when your supervisor says "ax" instead of "ask," isn't it?).

i don't mean to be racist or prejudice, but i feel somewhat at a disadvantage in my new workplace because (1) i am not of hispanic descent, and (2) i don't say, "girl," at the beginning of every sentence.

that is all.




oh, by the way, i got the most amazing news (sarcasm alert!): i will not be graduating this semester afterall!!! yipppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

despite my best efforts to fulfill my promise of working on my thesis while in texas, dr. fox has taken, what seems like eons, to read my latest friggin' chapter. it is her suggestion that "because we are mid-way into the semester" that "we" should "aim for a fall graduation." great. except there is no fall commencement, which, to me is the main thing i am looking for, because i want my relatives to SEE and VISIT the place i have devoted four years of my life to. no one amongst my generation of cousins, etc., has pursued a master's degree, and i really want the Mantaring side of my family to see that i am not a "professional student," or a failure. for all they know, i sit on my ass all day and philisophize about the meaning of life. they think i just sit and take up space. no one gets it. they don't see the importance of what me and hundreds of actual museum professionals aspire to achieve in the long run. no one sees what i do as work. no one sees that what i've been doing is more than studying and taking tests. boy, do i wish that were all to it!!! i guess, in a way, i'd like a bit of respect and understanding, and some realization that i am trying to pave my way to doing something.

tomorrow...

is my first day of work.

we'll see...

damn the man

today i was offered a job--a job i applied and interviewed over three weeks ago for--and, in my desperation for money, i took it. i know that i should be grateful for an opportunity to work, but now i feel depressed.

i feel like now i am stuck and committed to a job that i am not entirely interested in. i just wanted to make some money. granted, this job is in an actual museum, however, now i'll be working in an office and that's something i don't really want to do. i really want to research, design, fabricate, and install exhibits, not work in the membership office doing data entry. yes, ladies and gentlemen, that's my position...well, actually, i don't know know if the "position" even has a title, because all i've ever heard it referred to is "data entry position," not that i should be hung up on titles anyway. i just hate to think that i've spent four years and $65,000 getting an M.A. to do data entry.

okay, okay...so i know about "the secret" and the big hullabaloo being made on "oprah" about it, but i just find it difficult to think that things happen for a reason and "be the change you wish to see in the world," and all that. i would love to "make a request to the universe" and say, "universe, i want an exhibit design/exhibit tech job that pays at least $12 an hour, or whatever that is salaried, and i would love to have someone love me and wish that the people who said 'we'll hang out when you get back' actually follow through with their promises," but i just don't think that i have much faith in the universe at this point. things are really stressful, and i just can't get to the point where i can toss 20 plus years of pessimism out the window and adopt an optimistic frame of mind. i'm sure it's possible, but some things are easier said than done.

i guess, when it comes down to it, i'm just scared that i am going to be doing this job for a while, because i'm loyal and empathetic, and i can't bring myself to ever tell someone who had the sense to hire me for a job, "sorry, i found something better. i'm giving my two weeks notice." i don't want this job to hold me back from doing something way more fulfilling, just because i need money right now...especially when my 10 year reunion is coming up and everyone is out of school, has a decent job, and has started their own family. i feel progressively retarded, because here i am, still in school, jobless (sort of), alone, and living with my parents!

i know i shouldn't care about what other people think, and shouldn't compare myself to other people, but, who are we kidding? it's inevitable! i'm half filipino, and as much as people don't believe it, it comes with the culture. every filipino family is in silent competiton with each other. parents use their children to one-up all their relatives and friends. it's disgusting, but that's what i've been born into, and unless you have too, it's hard to understand. in some twisted way, i feel like a failure, because i don't think my parents can brag about my brother and i the way my uncle gerry constantly does with his kids. yeah, my parents are special, because they are somewhat of a hybrid, but i can tell sometimes, and it hurts. i can tell that my parents are kind of at the bottom of the barrel because their son is a server at a restaurant and their daughter is still in school, not making $50,000 a year, and living at home. i wish that my parents could brag that my brother was brilliant, working a good job, paying a mortgage, and expecting his first child, and that i had my own place, was in love, and was paying for my own cell phone bill. unfortunately, neither my brother nor myself are fully functional people, and it sucks.

they've done nothing wrong, and i just hope that they are proud of something.

just listen...

Mardi Gras 2007

with my latest thesis chapter finished, mailed to dr. fox, and awaiting feedback, i thought it would be safe to take a bit of a break from everything stressful in my life. so, this year, i went to my first ever Mardi Gras in New Orleans. a bunch of us got spots in the grandstand right in front of some best western hotel to see every parade from saturday up until yesterday. so we were able to see the parades of the following krewes: endymion, bacchus, zulu, rex, and tucks. we decided to skip the krewe of orpheus's parade, since half of our party needed to be picked up, and we were already down in the french quarter/french market/bourbon street area, and by the time we drove through traffic to pick them up, drove back through traffic, found parking, and walked to the grand stand, it would have been too late. besides, after several days of parades and standing out in cold weather, a lot of us were suffering from tiredness, lost voices, and/or the beginning of colds.

anyway, i just saw this at the people.com website:

i actually got one of those coins the caption reads of:

however, i don't remember it being so bright and early when the bacchus parade started. in fact, in the picture i took of the parade, it was nighttime, and we weren't that far from the start of the parade's route:

we had a fun time though, despite some of the greedy people sitting nearby.

L is for Loser

i still haven't finished a draft of my fourth thesis chapter. it's those darn tests!! i've gotten down to figuring out which tests to run on my data (binomials and chi square tests), but other than because i have only nominal and ordinal data, i have no idea why those tests are important. i also don't know how to read the test results. so, that's what's holding me back. AHHHHHHHHHH!

i'm giving myself a week before i just send my thesis chair an incomplete copy of chapter four.

on a different note, here's the friday five:
1. If you were a crayon, which color would you want to be?
green
2. Which color do you think you would be regardless of what you wanted?
probably one of those colors no one ever uses, like burnt sienna
3. Would you rather be used and get blunt, broken and lose your wrapper, or not be used and stay pristine?
used and naked, or whatever
4. Would you rather be in a small set of crayons or a large set?
i'd like to be part of the small set of 8 crayons that crayola makes
5. Would you rather be Crayola, or a different brand?
i guess i already answered this in question four

bummer

so, i didn't get the job. i've given up on having money. i'll live off of my last chico paycheck and work on my thesis. i've been doing this for about two weeks now. my chapter four is pretty swollen--25 pages so far and i haven't even analyzed any data yet. because i don't really know how.